Word abuse: muzzy

I appreciate obscure words as much as the next budding linguist, ahem, but not when these words are thrown into writing at the expense of clarity. I'm sick of reading about new bands and come across some totally random word that doesn't help me discern a genre or general sound to the music. Take "muzzy" for instance. What the hell does "muzzy" mean? Is it something like "fuzzy"? Merriam-Webster's says muzzy means dull, gloomy and "lacking in clarity and precision" - kinda like its etymology: "perhaps blend of muddled and fuzzy." And peep M-W's definition for fuzzy: "lacking in clarity and definition." Ah, I see the distinction. Not. In need of counseling: "This glow, though, did not outshine the two nostalgia-tinged openers, Citay and The Botticellis, the latter soothing the scanty crowd with their swathes of muzzy organ, plucked right out of the Paisley era and placed on their debut album, Old Home Movies." "So, initially, I was pleased that Winning Days was such a digestible and dreamy ride, full of somnambulant harmonies (Amnesia), muzzy monster guitars (TV Pro) and killer hooks (She's Got Something To Say)." "The key success to the band’s genre-borrowing being that, whether in country, punk or retro mode, The Black Lips have the skills to imitate while retaining individuality, their spit-and-all performances and muzzy production always at the heart of the material." However, I did stumble upon an excellent use of muzzy: "It will take a lot of listening as the production is too muzzy, with too much guitar and not enough words coming through." It works because a context is provided. It makes a point. Point taken?

Word abuse: fitting

Oh, how everything in music is just so "fitting."

Music writers worship at the altar of this adjective as if throwing it in will push reviews full circle and illustrate an artist's achievement of "completion in sound."

It's a nice wrap-up word, sure, and has become a glorified synonym for "appropriate" or "good," so at least you know where a writer is coming from. But it also heaps more credit onto bands when it's not necessarily due - as if the already inflated egos of rock music wankers need any more stroking. "Ho, wow, golly gee - this band has sure figured out the perfect way to round out its sound! They really know what fits."

Honestly, though: "Fitting" is overused and abused to the point of ceasing to mean anything.

Perennial black eyes:

"Abbey Road was a fitting swan song for the group ..."

"Blue Lambency Downwards makes for a fitting and absorbing soundtrack ..."

"Manges' buzzsaw rock is a fitting match for the catchy music of the Queers."

"It's fitting that the Kid Rock revival got started when the Beastie Boys featured him in their Grand Royal magazine ..."

"Each song is fitting and substantial, wetting the musical appetite, winning over listeners with its notorious jam-band flavors."

"Ending with 'Look at Me Mom,' this is a fitting close to this spectacular collage of original rock music worthy of national release."

Sorry to break it to you, pop judges: Fitting "fitting" into your music evaluations fails in its intended grandiosity. Because really, isn't everything fitting? Time for a new addition to your language wardrobe.

Word abuse: set the tone

Set the tone. Let's file this loopy language loser with the Department of Redundancy. Riddle me this: When does the first track on a CD not "set the tone" for the rest of the album? I mean, unless it's a compilation of different artists, of course the first song will "set the tone" and sound like the fifth track, and the eighth, and the ninth and the closer. The same band wrote and played all of the songs. Domestic violence: "The first track on Brenda Xu's new EP, 'Count To Ten' not only sets an interesting tone for the disc but also ..." "In the opening tracks, 'April Loved John' sets the tone with simple rootsy melodies while 'Fiasco,' a toe-tapping ..." "Album opener 'Bells And Whistles' sets the tone for the whole album" "The first track on the album, 'Angry,' is a solid one, and helps set the tone and tie the rest of the nine songs together." "Whoever made the choice to use this as the opening song on the album made an excellent decision, cause not only does it set the tone for the album but it ..." No shite, Sherlocke. Then again, maybe it's just a kind way to suggest that a band follows a formula.

Word abuse: darlings

Oh, it's just so *cute* when individuals devote countless hours to learn musical instruments; track down others to collaborate as a multifaceted ensemble; practice day after day to compose recordings that don't sound like garbage; spill heart and blood and tears and soul and guts and sweat into songs, which will then be subject to judgment by hack arbiters embittered that they themselves can't play.

Guess that's why music writers love to call good bands "darlings" so much. Because art and self expression are just so damn adorable!

31 flavors and then some - just about every style of music has its darling:

"Indie darlings Signal Hill Transmission have crafted a fine-tuned ..."

"Folk-rock darlings the Indigo Girls are back to celebrate their ..."

"Country music darlings Carrie Underwood, Kellie Pickler and Taylor Swift cheer on the Nashville Predators as they ..."

"Hip-hop darlings Hilltop Hoods played the event last year and ..."

"The latest from Finland's current black metal darlings does not disappoint ..."

Don't you just wanna pinch some cheeks?

Word abuse: runs the gamut

British guy #1: "Say old chap, how's about another round of word doo doo?"

British guy #2: "Oi matey, let's have a go!"

British guy #1: "'Cheerio. 'Runs the gamut' is an evil cliche habitually molested by Yankee music journalists to suggest the range of genres a band infuses into its sound. It's a rather tired, awkward turn of phrase that should have been Rippered by Jack by now - but it inexplicably thrives, even in otherwise respectable publications.

It's hard to avert your eyes from this bloodbath:"

"The Oakland group’s debut EP runs the gamut from upbeat, danceable pop-rock (think new Brit rock/pop invasion without the attitude) to catchy punk (like a slightly softer version of The Vandals or Bad Religion) to languid, lamenting rock."

"Hardly old timey, but not jarringly revisionist, 'Sodajerk 2' runs the gamut of country hybrids"

"The range of influences among the five members of the band runs the gamut from classic rock to modern rock and even country."

"Here Oxbow’s versatility is the most prominent, as the song runs the gamut with stunning string arrangements, punctuated gauntlets and even bittersweet dreamscapes."

"The programming runs the gamut from big-name crowd-pleasers touring the European summer jazz festival circuit to concerts by artists whose only appearances on the continent are in Perugia."

British guy #2: "Hmmm. It is rather messy, i'nt it? Don't all artists 'run the gamut' of something or another? I mean, the phrase essentially points out that musicians really shouldn't be pigeonholed into particular genres because creativity and inspiration cannot be limited by categories."

British guy#1: "Word to your mother."

British guy #2: "And besides - have you ever actually heard someone drop 'runs the gamut' into an ordinary conversation? The death of this cliche is elementary, now isn't it my dear Watson?"

Word abuse: spare

All aboard! Time for another whirl on the music cliche train.

Our next stop will be "spare," often paired with "arrangement," a coupling ordinarily used in folk and punk writeups to describe a minimalist approach to instrumentation.

In Medieval Latin, the following examples would be referred to as vocabularius vomitus:

"The group built their sound by combining harmony, spare arrangements."

"Most of his inspirations dwell in the '70s, favoring spare arrangements and elegant string flourishes."

"But those descriptions imply that The Coroner's Gambit is pleasant singer/songwriter craft-- all spare arrangements and lilting whims."

"And the spare arrangements, most of which feature Mishka's acoustic guitar, have a nicely evocative downhome feel to them."

"Anyway, the cooing chorus and spare arrangement leave you feeling content."

Ooh, how those spare arrangements get to me! They leave me feeling just ... so ... content.

If only I could say the same for spare vocabularies.

Word abuse: stretch out

Whenever a band throws in an extra wanky guitar solo, tries out a previously unexplored playing tactic or displays any amount of musical progression or experimentation whatsoever, without fail, some writer will pipe in and declare the band has "stretched out" their sound.

This isn't musical yoga, yo.



"Indie rock kingpins the Shins stretch out on their third album, 'Wincing the Night Away'"

"Coldplay Stretch Out On Upcoming Record"

"It’s the disc where the band stretches out and experiments"

"The average song length is about five minutes, giving the musicians room to stretch out and solo occasionally"

You know what happens when you stretch out "stretch out" too much? You get tired.

Sounds like these writers need a rest.

Word abuse: barnstormer

Does anybody know what a barnstormer is? My friend Mr. Webster defines the noun as such: "1 : one who tours through rural districts staging usually theatrical performances 2 : one who travels from place to place making brief stops (as in a political campaign or a promotional tour) 3 : one who pilots an airplane in sight-seeing flights with passengers or in exhibition stunts in an unscheduled course especially in rural districts" OK - it basically refers to a manner of travel. So why is it always used to imply a totally loud, completely bitchin,' dripping-with-attitude party of a song that riles up a crowd to "hoots and hollers" (future "Word abuse" candidate)? Check the abuse: "The rock legends played a 16-song set that included staples like 'Stairway to Heaven' and 'Kashmir,' and they closed the show with the iconic barnstormer 'Rock and Roll.'" "Their debut record Hello Master is a barnstormer of unabashed rock fury." "Thanks to pre-digital age tubes, this Zeppelin-esque barnstormer hums and crackles with warm fuzz." Who started this nonsense? I can actually understand this term's inclusion in the country genre. I mean, who can truly dissociate a Toby Keith song from a steaming heap of cow shit covering, or storming, if you will, a barn? But it has no place in rock 'n' roll. Zeppelin and farm life just don't mix. It's funny -the only way I read "barnstormer" now is in the voice of Mr. Hanky: "Howdy ho - that song shuuuure is a real barnstormer."

Word abuse: loose

Lose. Lose. The word that's so shamefully evading your vocabulary is "lose." Not "loose." Guess I shouldn't be too surprised that I run into writers confusing "loose" and "lose" all the fucking time - last night, reading an eternally crap-copy-edited music mag; today, in an article by the music editor of a major S.F. weekly with usually impeccable copy editing. I mean, they're practically the same word. Except for the fact that "loose" has an extra "o" AND A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DEFINITION. Check it:

"With supporting acts ranging from the ambient to the drone-friendly to warped electro-pop, you can’t loose with any of (((folkYEAH!)))’s lineups that weekend."

"Without loosing the urgent, live, improvisational sound their live shows have become renowned for." "What is your favourite Foo Fighter's album? ... Probably There is Nothing Left to Loose, and The Color and the Shape." "Gene Simmons is the ultimate looser of rock music." Is this an accidentally typing too many o's sorta thing? Or maybe copy editors slacking on the job? Edward Collins, um, some guy with a Web site, devoted an entire page to illuminate this problem. But fear not: Plenty of online tutorials can school you on the distinction. Use them or loose them. As Yoda would say, not interchangeable these words are.

Word abuse: piercing wail

Oh, the "piercing wail" of rock singers, from Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs to Dolores O' Riordan of the Cranberries. Music writers love to rely on this old standby to relay enchantment with a lingering shriek that's supposedly so strong and compelling, it punctures our ears into bloody oblivion when we hear it. "An intense, piercing wail that soars emotively or shifts, at note's end, to a keen yelp." Let's not get melodramatic, shall we? "His voice ranged from a low, growly monotone to a pained, piercing wail." It. Just. Hurts. So. God. Damn. Much. "Voice swings from piercing wail to brow-furrowing growl." Ow. "Jim James of Kentucky's My Morning Jacket uncorked his trademark piercing wail" as this music writer uncorked his trademark lazy description of James' voice. "A piercing wail that would make Roger Daltrey drop a deuce." Actually, that's pretty funny. Lesson learned? Not yet? Maybe a visual explanation would work better.

This is your music article.

This is your music article on "piercing wail."

Any questions?

Word abuse: visceral

Visceral: Yet another fatigued term infecting music writing that's intended to exaggerate how intense a band sounds. "A gutsy, visceral love song." Wow. Listen to this one and your spleen will twinge in ecstasy. "Play a visceral brand of alternative rock." Ooh. So deep, so deep. Sign me up. "Her penchant for visceral music." "An unyielding, visceral roar of passion." "Fits of visceral tension." "Pure visceral punk rock excitement!" C'mon folks - let's give our insides a break and think of another means to convey a song's ferocity. So unless your large intestine begins to uncoil whenever you hear Kurt Cobain's "piercing wail" (see "Word abuse" March 27 entry), please proceed with caution. Thank you. Thank you so goddamn much.

Word abuse: lush

Music writers, repeat after me: I will not use lush to describe sumptuous abundance. I will not use lush to describe sumptuous abundance. I will not use lush to describe sumptuous abundance. Now continue this mantra until it soaks into the cobwebbed crevices of your brain and your underworked cerebellum rouses from its comatose slumber. Seriously: Unless you're referring to four '90s Brit shoegazers or a stinking drunk B-side player, you need to bury the word "lush" in a time capsule, dig a hole 7 feet under and let this overused adjective hibernate for a good coupla decades. This one-syllable cliche has invariably become the go-to word for lazy scribes to suggest the fullness of a band's sound. I conducted a highly scientific study of modern music magazines published in the United States and found that "lush" makes an appearance in 7 out of 10 album reviews. Ouch. Really - a plethora of alternatives will spice up your writing, and Thesaurus.com conveniently offers innumerable ways to avoid this victim of vocabulary apathy.